Our Fertility Journey
"Fuuuuck". My first genuine thought when I realised we might need to consider IVF following 9 months of trying for our second baby. I was 37. My husband and I had done a round of fertility testing and when you've hit the point of testing, you've already fallen into a sea of stats, nods to your geriatric age and hints at your past C-Section not being a "normal" birth. There was much to investigate, apparently.
If you're over 35 and considering having a baby, the NHS advises getting tested after just six months of trying. We chose to go private to speed things up and our tests at the Harley Street Fertility Clinic (HSFC) came back fairly normal, aside from mild adenomyosis (a condition where the uterine lining grows into the muscular wall, sometimes causing heavy, painful periods and fertility issues) and some sperm that needed a pep talk. Still, much remained to be uncovered once the IVF process began. "It's often a combination of things," our doctor told us. Already, it felt like our fate was looming.
Having reached the 12 month mark with 12 negative tests and a wandering mind about what was to be discovered, we decided to pull the trigger in January 2025 with the clinic that we carried out our initial testing with. Our Doctor had a friendly face and a reliable German accent and that for me was enough to get the ball rolling. We were told, at this particular clinic, they recommended frozen transfer cycles, which took longer (and were more expensive), but garnered better results. On average, 1 in 4 women at my age would get pregnant.
One thing became clear: the physical load falls heavily on the person doing the growing. I was amazed by the science, wrecked by the meds, and quietly raging at how little support there was. It's a whirlwind that can be eased and managed when your expectations and understanding of the entire process feels clear and you can take the bull by the horns and get stuck in. And so that's what I want to do: share our timeline, costs and tips to help others feel more in control and empowered throughout their IVF journey.
Do Some Research Before Selecting Your Clinic: You might be with them for a while. Pick a clinic that's convenient for you to get to (I visited mine 25+ times during one cycle) and one that's open at times that work for you. Many clinics, including ours, weren't open evenings and weekends.
"I was amazed by the science, wrecked by the meds and quietly raging at how little support there was."
My IVF Timeline
Here's what one fully medicated, frozen transfer cycle looked like for us. Everyone's situation is different, so this can't be applied as a one-size-fits-all timeline for everyone, but it will shine a light on how long these cycles can take and what's included:
What’s a Fully Medicated, Frozen Transfer Cycle? A fully medicated frozen embryo transfer (FET) cycle is when a previously frozen embryo is transferred into the uterus, and the whole process is controlled with medication rather than relying on your body’s natural cycle.
Part 1 - Egg Retrieval
- 2 Jan: Pre-screening tests
- 9 Jan: Initial nurse consultation
- 11 Jan: Started tablets
- 24 Jan: Started injections
- 24 Jan - 3 Feb: 4 scans to check uterus lining
- 5 Feb: Sedated egg retrieval procedure + sperm collection
- 5-10 Feb: Daily calls about our embryos progress (perished vs still viable)
- 7 Feb: Procedure follow up appointment
Our Egg Retrieval Results: We retrieved 24 eggs, which made it to 6 embryos after 6 days in a petri dish, all with various grading. We were immediately told one embryo was abnormal, which was removed. We had genetic testing conducted on 3 of the 6 embryos, one of which was also abnormal and removed. 4 embryos were left for freezing.
Part 2 - Embryo Transfer
- 27 Feb: Started oestrogen tablets
- 28 Feb: Uterus scratch procedure (as fun as it sounds)
- 14-31 Mar: 3 scans to check uterus lining + blood tests - eventually resulting in a 3.5 week delay as my oestrogen levels weren’t up to scratch. Turns out I needed patches instead of tablets.
- 10-22 Apr: 2 more scans to check uterus lining + blood tests
- 27 Apr: Started injections in prep for embryo transfer
- 2 May: Embryo transfer
The Two Week Wait: After your transfer you’ll need to rest for a day or two, which marks the start of the two week wait (TWW). At the end of this period you’ll be called to the clinic to do a blood test. They’ll call you that day to let you know the results.
Part 3 - The Two Week Wait
- 12 May: Pregnancy test (I went for a blood test in the morning and they called with the results that afternoon. It felt like an hour had passed before I finally heard the world’s quietest “congratulations”)
- 22 May: Blood tests to check hormone levels
- 30 May: 7 week scan
- 3-17 Jun: Lots more blood tests to check hormone levels
- 27 Jun: 10 week scan
- 3-17 Jul: Even more blood tests to check hormone levels
30 Jul: Discharged (finally)
Total time from first appointment to being discharged: 7 months
Meds & Monitoring: If you're lucky enough to get pregnant you'll be continuing your meds up until 12 weeks and in some cases they won't wean you off until 16 weeks. If you're not pregnant you can stop straight away.
The Real Cost of IVF
Making a trip to your clinic can be anxiety-inducing. For every procedure there’s an invoice and there’s often unexpected costs but everything is itemised. Here’s the breakdown of what we spent on IVF, the meds and what add-on procedures we opted for:
Insuring your IVF Treatment: To manage costs there are a number of insurance providers who offer discounted fertility treatments from top clinics. We went for a Two Cycle PLUS Plan with Assured Fertility, which offered a part refund if you’re successful on the first or second attempt.
Actual Costs vs Estimated: Based on estimated costs on the clinic website, we anticipated 2 x insured cycles would cost up to £14,500. Our actual cost was £17,350. Note: Everyone’s medication costs are different and change throughout the process, which can make it tricky to plan your finances.
Part 1 - Egg Retrieval
- Pre-screening (female): £250
- Pre-screening (male): £150
- IVF - frozen embryo transfer cycles x 2 (insured by Assured Fertility): £8,850
- Genetic testing (PGT-A) x 2 embryos [optional add-on]: £1,200
- Medication, incl Progesterone tablets, Fyremadel, Aspirin, Menopur, Rekovelle, Buserlin, Cabergoline: £1,715
- Genetic testing (PGT-A) x 1 additional embryo [optional add-on]: £400
- Embryo storage (Feb-Dec 2025): £330
Sub-total: £11,295 + Add ons: £1,600
Total: £12,895
Part 2 - Embryo Transfer
- Frozen embryo transfer cycle x 2: £700
- Uterine scratch procedure: £350
- Medication: £2,955
- NIPT test - screening for sex chromosome conditions (like Turner syndrome) and identifying the baby’s sex (optional add-on): £450
Sub-total: £4,005 + Add-ons: £450
Total: £4,455
GRAND TOTAL: £17,350*
*These costs were correct as of July 2025
Insurance Refund: As we were successful on our first attempt we will receive a 20% refund on the IVF cost from our insurer (£2,120), bringing our total cost to £15,230. We’ll receive the refund after the baby is born.
IVF in the UK: The Bigger Picture
- IVF first became available in 1978 in the UK, with the world’s first “test tube baby,” Louise Brown, born in Manchester.
- Today, around 76,000 IVF treatment cycles are carried out in the UK each year (2024 data, HFEA*), reaching a record high as many choose to have children later in life.
- Success rates vary by age — on average, around 32% of cycles for women under 35 result in a live birth, while rates drop to under 5% for women over 43.
- Cost is a major barrier: the average private IVF cycle in the UK costs between £5,000–£8,000, not including medication.
- According to HFEA surveys, many patients feel clinics could do more to provide emotional and psychological support, not just medical treatment.
*HFEA: Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority - the UK’s independent regulator overseeing fertility treatment and research involving human embryos. They license fertility clinics, set standards, and provide information to patients.
If You're Trying For a Baby: If you’ve been trying for a baby and not getting pregnant, it’s worth checking whether you qualify for IVF on the NHS. The rules aren’t the same everywhere so check in with your GP first and find out which NHS Integrated Care Board (ICB) you fall within. Then go to Google and search <your IBC + IVF Policy> to find out the eligibility criteria in your area.
Protecting Your Mental Health During IVF
It’s safe to say I was a little naive when it came to what to expect from IVF.
The medication and its side effects were one thing, but what hit just as hard was realising that, to many clinics, you’re simply another statistic passing through their doors. The support and guidance we needed to get through such a difficult time just wasn’t there, leaving us with a fair amount of anger and resentment along the way. So, here are the tips I’d give my pre-IVF self to make an already tough journey a little bit easier.
Check Out Our Podcast: Not Safe For Kids You can hear me talking about the highs and lows of my IVF journey on our podcast: Not Safe For Kids.
Choose a close circle
IVF is a long process. You often don’t want to talk about it with everyone and anyone in fear of upsetting the equilibrium you’ve been trying to keep intact on a daily basis. But sometimes you do need to vent and share the ups and downs with people close to you. Choose those people carefully - people that know you well, that won’t project their own feelings about what you might be going through onto you - someone who will simply listen.
Ask questions - loads of them
If your gut tells you that something’s not right, that you don’t like the sound of something or you simply need more clarification - ask the question. Even if your nurse is busy and wants to move onto the next patient. Challenge everything because they’ll often adapt your treatment plan or explain in more detail if you’re not happy with something.
Medication
Be aware of statistics and one-size-fits-all policies that your clinic might have. They should be helping you to choose a treatment plan that is personalised to your health record. I declined a whole phase of meds they recommended after I had consulted with my midwife (who said she had never heard of that approach before). Question everything. You know what doesn’t feel right for your body.
Go easy on yourself
Keep your partner up to date with how you’re feeling, share insights into med side-effects so they understand. Treat yourself! Eat loads of chocolate if you feel like it. Buy that outfit. Take an afternoon off work to get a massage - you absolutely 100% deserve to feel good during the IVF process. Don’t write it off as a challenging time that can’t have its good moments.
Consider counselling
IVF is not just a physical process, it’s deeply emotional. The hormone swings, the constant waiting and the pressure of cost and outcome can feel overwhelming. Clinics often focus on the medical side, but some do offer counselling. I didn’t take them up on the offer because I assumed that was for people who were going through a really tough time of it - and perhaps it wasn’t for me. Book in a session to see if it’s useful. Join the community chat via the clinic’s app. Just to give it a go. It might be the relief you’re searching for.
How I’m Feeling Now It’s Over
I’ve had a lot of time to reflect now I’m on the other side and I’m a few weeks into my second trimester. My meds are finished and the hassle of having to visit my clinic most weeks, finally, feels like a thing of the past. Frustration has given way to a feeling of calm, mostly because I chose to do a mental exorcism of all the things I had grievances about and just… Let. It. Go. That was a choice I had control over.
Writing this article has felt really therapeutic - sharing some information that might help others has made me feel like I turned a challenging experience into something really positive. And now? I can finally enjoy my pregnancy. When I was first told I was pregnant it didn’t really sink in until the stress of it all dissipated. Now I’m preparing my little girl’s nursery and looking to the future with optimism - and a heavy dose of ‘shit, I have a newborn on the way!!’ - because people who have gone through IVF are allowed to be eternally grateful and still complain about the realities of having a new baby...
Share your stories
IVF is one of the hardest journeys you can go through - physically, financially and emotionally. But it's also a story of resilience, hope and science working miracles. If you've been through IVF, we'd love to hear your story. We'll be featuring guest journals here regularly, so tell us your story at hello@heyjunii.ai.